The snow, it’s bin and gone and ‘ay come again!

We are midway through February (frightening isn’t it?) and since the last update the fortnight seems to have been filled with many events but without a lot happening too.  I can see a lot of quizzical looks at that apparent oxymoronic statement.

I took the last of the last year’s holiday entitlement on the first Friday of February to give myself a long weekend.  Thus I decided to go and pick Éowyn up from playbox.  I am waiting outside with the other mothers when the door opened and I was beckoned inside.  Éowyn had been misbehaving all day, culminating it her hitting another child with a wooden piano across the head.  I felt like a child who had been summoned into the Headmaster’s office and sat there mortified at what she had done.  Éowyn can be wilful and determined but this was a step into uncharted territory and something that we obviously need to nip in the bud.

Children’s behaviour is very rarely an isolated change in their personality but more a response to an external situation however trivial that it seems to those around them (probably true of adults too!).  The trick is identifying it and neutralising it, but not allowing the crimes to go unpunished either.  (That is what we are attempting anyhow, we’ll let you know in 20 years if it works.)  So what are the stimuli that are causing Éowyn to behave the way she is.  It is her little sister.  Not directly but the attention that Amélie receives and encouragement she is getting for doing things that Éowyn can easily do is probably the first and foremost reason.  This is not to say that Éowyn does not get any attention but she has to share that attention.  So therefore when she wants the attention and she is not getting the attention she requires immediately then she is naughty: for then she gets the attention.   It might be Mommy or Daddy telling her off but it is attention and more importantly Amélie is not getting any while we are pre-occupied with her.  Knowing the psychology is easy, putting it into practise when you have two screaming kids running around; you need to get the dinner ready; you are not feeling well and the telephone is ringing is a different matter.  So stricter and fairer and more conscious of how we are treating them both is the regime going forward.

The weekend gave a good excuse to have some Daddy and Éowyn time: it snowed.  It was the first dump of snow that the South East of England had seen this winter and although it wasn’t a fall of snow that I recall from my childhood it was certainly enough snow to build a snowman.  Unfortunately Lucinda was at work and since it was cold (not as cold as it has been across Europe, where record lows were being recorded) and I wanted it to be a special time for Éowyn we had to wait until Amélie had a mid morning nap.  This meant that a number of the neighbours had already build their snowmen by the time that we got out and, also the day had warmed and then cooled so that the snow wasn’t as light and fluffy as it had been first thing.  Nevertheless, relatively happy with our snowmen (look at the photos below) and Éowyn thoroughly enjoyed making them (the heads we solely her creations).  It was amusing that the following day the temperature had warmed such that all the lying snow melted and all that was left was a scattering of snow zombies as the snowmen’s features slowly melted during the day then refroze at night.  It then turned bitterly cold for nearly a week and no further melting took place.  We then received a second (smaller) fall of snow that re-coated everything before the temperature has returned to more usual February temperatures and only the carcasses of the snow zombies remain (although I do not give them very more days of survival in these conditions).

Amélie is still resisting the complete transition to bipedal locomotion.  Her attempts are more frequent and she can totter around for quite a while before gravity wins the argument but she still prefers the racing crawl method or shuffles about on her knees.  She is such a lazy tyke.  She gets away with it because she has a big sister that will do things for her and she has such a cheeky grin when she wants to get her own way.  We will have to see what we can do to encourage the full move, but at least it is a step in the right direction (see what I did there?).

Thursday 10th February was Uncle Albert’s funeral.  I had been asked to say a few words (the first time I had been asked to speak at a funeral) and in a strange way I was looking forward to it.  However fate had other ideas.  Éowyn had been under the weather for a couple of days and didn’t really think too much of it as kids are always feeling grotty as their immune systems encounter attacks for the first time and busy themselves creating defences.  However on the Tuesday Lucinda began to feel ill and then on the Wednesday I was knocked for six.  So much so that I went home early from work on Wednesday (I never go home ill) and on the Thursday could only drag myself out of bed to lie on the sofa (and Lucinda the same).  Fortunately I had the wherewithal on the Wednesday night to call Mom to tell her that we wouldn’t be attending (the funeral was at 1000 and that would mean leaving at 0700 and with all the will in the world even if I fell 100 times better there was no way it was going to happen) the fact that we were worse the next day justified that decision.  It was sad that we never managed to say goodbye to Uncle Albert (although I am sure he understood) and hello to a lot of relatives that we don’t see very often.  Uncle Albert’s death has left my Nan as the sole living representative of her generation on either side of our family.

Éowyn has taken a big step forward in growing up.  She decided last Saturday night that she didn’t want to wear a nappy to bed any more.  She has been nappy free in the day for many months but has always wanted the confidence of a nappy on at night.  Not any more.  She said that she didn’t want it so we didn’t put it on her.  We put her potty near her bed so she didn’t have to go too far in the night and prepared ourselves for wet pyjamas and changing the bedclothes.  We need not have fretted she has made the transition effortlessly so far.  She was obviously ready and waited until she knew herself that she was ready and that was it.

To reward this, and to give me an excuse to go and see it too, I took Éowyn to the cinema for the first time.  It is half-term so there are a number of films out aimed at kids (and big kids) and there are special early showtimes too.  When I was a little older than Éowyn is now, one of my favourite shows was The Muppet Show.  I own a number of DVDs of The Muppets and Éowyn has seen some of them so when I heard that the new Muppet movie was out for half term the choice of which film to go and see was made easy.  I think Éowyn was over-awed by the whole cinema experience although overall she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it (probably not as much as her dad did!).  She didn’t think much of popcorn and was frustrated by all the adverts and trails for other films (aren’t we all).  The little Toy Story short before the film was a bonus and she sat as good as gold for the entire length of the film.  I would quite happily take her to see another film again, and knowing my love of the cinema and of ‘children’s movies’ it would be no great hardship.

Anyhow, I will leave you with that (go and see the movie if only for a barbershop quartet rendition of Nirvana’s ‘Smells like Teen Spirit’ – you have been warned).

Peace and Love

Baggie

They said there’ll be snow at Christmas; they said there’ll be Peace on Earth

For those of you who scored 10 for knowing the answer to last year’s Christmas pop trivia another ten points are on offer if you know from which Christmas ditty the title of this update is from.  Well done, treat yourself to a mince pie and a glass of mulled wine.

This will be the last full update before Christmas although the (now annual) Bagnall Christmas message will automatically appear just after noon on Monday 19th December 2011 (already pre-written – aren’t I clever?) and I will try to squeeze in a post-Christmas update (time permitting) before the New Year.

As I mentioned in the last write up, I have attempted to use the remainder of my 2011 annual leave up by taking this past week off, in an attempt to get into the Christmas spirit and complete (start) the Christmas shopping.  The week started well with the obligatory trip into the loft to get the Christmas tree and decorations down.  We then duly put them up and encouraged Éowyn to help decorate the tree.  Not the most enthusiastic of decorating from our oldest child but I think she will get into it a little more as the years pass.  Amélie on the other hand just wanted to pull the bauble that you had just placed on the tree and throw it across the floor, well it is a fun game!  Éowyn however did let us play Christmas songs (her particular favourite being Mrs Santa Claus by Nat King Cole for some reason) while we bedecked the lounge.  It certainly raised the Christmas spirit and indeed does the tree everytime I walk into the lounge, all that was missing was a flurry of snow (still a disappointing lack of snow in these parts this winter!).

As I was off Lucinda also decided that she would book her week off too (both days!) so that we could have some time together and since the childminder had already been booked for Lucinda’s work days then it meant that there was two days that we could have off together.  However, an invite to a supplier’s lunch on the Tuesday put pay to part of one of those days but at least Lucinda could spend a little time with her mum without the kids, which was good for both of them.

The Wednesday without the kids flew by.  We were worried that we would spend the whole day missing them, but to be honest we just didn’t have the time.  Taking advantage of the fact that we were dropping them off at 0800 we headed to Kingston early (to avoid the lengthy queues to the car parks) in attempt to complete our Christmas shopping.  We may not have completed our Christmas shopping but we certainly put a big dent into it.  Going early meant that there was no queue for the car park and we were ahead of the game before the shops got too crowded.  Definitely the way to Christmas shop, second only to sitting at home surfing the on-line retailers and getting it all delivered to your door (or alternatively their door – even better if the on-line retailer offers a wrapping service!).

It seems that no matter how much you think you know you children they will always do something to surprise you.  Amélie has not slept through the night since she was born.  The latest she will wake up in 0530 and usually once or twice in the night.  This week she slept straight through for four nights in a row.  Yes, not one or two days but four!  Brilliant we thought, she is finally learning to appreciate the magnificence of a good night’s sleep.  Unfortunately we don’t know how long she may have slept on two of those days because we had to wake her up to take her to Jo’s (the childminder).  Nevertheless we were feeling a little pleased with ourselves as we headed to the end of the week.

A trip to West Bromwich to visit Nanny Fran and Auntie Liz was in order to complete the week, especially since we will not see them until after Christmas.  We arrived Friday lunchtime and did not stop.  We paid a visit to see Éowyn and Amélie’s Great-Grandma.  Then the school that Auntie Liz works at were having a Christmas fayre and so we paid Auntie Liz (who was busy face-painting) a visit and had a look around the fayre.  Very disappointing really, except for the roasted chesnuts.  They after putting the kids to bed myself and Lucinda headed to the local supermarket to stock up on supplies that we hadn’t brought up with us.

Sitting in the car on the way back to Nanny Fran’s, Lucinda realised that she hadn’t got her purse.  We headed straight back and retraced our steps from the till to the car.  No luck.  No one had handed the purse in and there was no sign of it either in the shop or in the car park.  We gave our details to security and headed back to Nanny Fran’s.  Obviously Lucinda was extremely upset but fearing the worse we left Nanny Fran’s and headed straight to the Police station to report the incident.  As soon as we had the crime number we began cancelling Credit cards.  It was part way through cancelling the second bank’s cards that we received a phonecall from security, someone had found the purse and handed it in.

All the cards and all the money was still in the purse and Lucinda was delighted to have it back (even with the now useless cards in there).  We had been fearing the worse but the spirit of Christmas still endures in the Black Country and we thank the kind soul for handing it in.  He left his name and number and so there is a thank you card and a little something for him to thank him for his goodwill.  We salute you, sir!

Amélie, however was no so generous.  After lulling us into a false sense of security with her four nights of sleep she brought us down to earth on Friday night.  She awoke just after 0100 and would not go back to sleep.  Nanny Fran popped up about 0500 (when Amélie is awake everyone without a blast zone of 20 blocks is awake – she has the most piercing scream when she wants to let loose!) and took her from us and finally got her to sleep leaving us to get a couple of hours.

On Saturday myself and Lucinda headed into Birmingham to visit the German market while Nanny Fran, Auntie Liz, Éowyn and Amélie went on an adventure of their own.  Again the few hours that we had to ourselves allowed us, not only to visit the Christmas market but to finish off our Christmas shopping without the kids.  Indeed I think we are both now completely ‘Christmas shopping’-ed out, we just have to wrap them now!

But where was the adventure that the other went on.  Well Nanny Fran and Auntie Liz took the girls to visit Father Christmas at Dudley Zoo and Castle.  It was Éowyn’s first visit to Santa this year and she was a little overwhelmed by the experience.  She was overcome by shyness and did not ask Santa for anything (does that mean that she doesn’t get anything? – I am a cruel father!), indeed did not speak to him at all.  Not sure what Amélie thought about it.  It was only afterwards that Éowyn got a little upset because she did not ask Santa for a cicciobello doll, which seems to be the one constant that she asks for.  We are not sure where she discovered the doll or why she particularly wants it but it is a parent’s duty to at least investigate.

After another disturbed night of sleep (it is payback time) and a Sunday lunch we headed back down the M40 and home.  When we finally arrived home Elf was on the telly and if there is one thing more magical than watching a Christmas related feel good film that must be watching a Christmas related feel good film with a three year old that believes every word of it.

For those of you that we won’t see between now and the big day we hope that you have a great time and trust that Santa (Father Christmas/ Saint Nicholas/ Kris Kringle/ Santa Claus/ Ded Moroz etc…) brings you all that you deserve and maybe a little of what you want.

Peace and Christmas Love

Baggie

Amélie’s First Birthday

How time flies, the second update in just over a week celebrates the fact that our second child is now one year old.  It doesn’t seem five minutes since we were in the car heading to St. Peter’s, managed to lay claim to the last bed in the labour ward and after a relatively short labour, we held her in our arms for the first time.

In some ways the second child is easier: you know what you are doing (OK that is never true – you are just a little less paranoid about what you may be doing wrong); the skills that you had trouble mastering are now old hat (nappy changing, maintaining a semblance of normality on 3 hours sleep and making up bottles at 03:00!) and you have all the paraphernalia (or at least the ones that you have found to be useful).

Then in other ways it is more difficult: Adults may understand and forgive you your grumpiness or lack of attention due to weeks of disturbed sleep, a 2 year old doesn’t; adults may understand that a new born needs love and affection and a feed every few hours, a 2 year old doesn’t and adults more easily accommodate the fact that there is another member of the family, a 2 year old doesn’t.

In fairness to Éowyn, she has actually accommodated to the new arrival that is her little sister extremely well.  Although it probably helps that Amélie has yet to invade her last bastion of refuge: her bedroom.  Amélie still sleeps in our bedroom, mainly because she still wakes at 0530 every day for her first bottle of the day.  Hopefully this will not last much longer and then we will be able to move the girls in together, for as it currently stands it would not be fair on Éowyn not only to move her sister into her room, but also to move a sister that is also an alarm clock that cannot be set for a later time!

So, in addition to the above, what have we learned this year?  I think the major lesson we can take from 2011 is the fact that no two children are the same.  Amélie is far more laid back than Éowyn.  Without wishing to compare, Éowyn was a lot more advanced than Amélie at the same age.  This is partly due to Amélie’s milk protein intolerance, which must have made her life hell for the first few months, which meant that there was not as much time for play in those early weeks and partly because we have has so much work done to the house that there has not been the space for her to practise and exercise those muscles.  I also think this laid back nature also comes from the fact that because she always has a big sister vying for attention so she is not as precious about being the centre of attention, for unlike Éowyn, she never has been (not in a nasty way, simply because Éowyn was the only child and therefore had the undivided attention of two parents through her formative years).

We also have learned the benefit and strength that can be taken from a supportive and understanding health visitor.  Amélie’s milk protein intolerance would not have been diagnosed so quickly without her support and I think that Lucinda and I would have gone insane with the powerlessness that we were experiencing with her over those first few months.  To have some fighting the system from the inside and not just insisting that it was colic or wind or ‘just get on with it that is what babies do’ was a huge boon.  So thank you Kate!

And what have we lost this year?   The ability to have a lie in.  As mentioned above Amélie is like clockwork waking up for her first feed at 0530 (if you are lucky) and sometimes she will not settle afterwards.  Lucinda has done the vast majority of those for she has been on maternity leave and I have been working (usually getting up not long after), however now Lucinda has returned to work then this will be shared more evenly especially when some of Lucinda’s shifts start at 0500!  If she would only sleep for another hour she would be the perfect baby, but I suppose those don’t exist – or grow into terrible toddlers!

The only other thing that we have lost this year is weight.  Both myself and Lucinda have been dieting since May and I now weigh (a lady never reveals her weight so Lucinda’s goals can remain secret) 4 stone (for Americans: 56lbs for everybody else: 25.4kgs) less than when Amélie was born and 3 stone (42lbs, 19kgs) less than in May!  As, I am sure you can appreciate, I am very pleased with this and now the real challenge begins of maintaining that weight loss.  Scarily I am 5 stone (60lbs/31.75kgs) lighter than my peak weight in April 2009.  I will no longer be the fat dad at the school gate!

The weekend before Amélie’s birthday, Nanny Fran, Auntie Liz and Auntie Mary came down to visit.  It was going to be a good chance for me to meet up with them too, since the last time they came down I was working.  Unfortunately due to the issues we have been having at work I had to work that day also, so once again I missed them.  However, it was nice for the girls to see the Bagnall side of the family and they will all be coming down in a couple of weeks to see Éowyn on her birthday!  So I will catch up then.

So what did we do to celebrate Amélie’s first birthday?  As the weather was unseasonably warm on her birthday (28°C – in fact the 1st October was the warmest day ever recorded in the UK (29.9°C) even though that was followed by the first snowfall on the mountains of Scotland less than a week later!) we decided to head to Peppa Pig World.  Fortunately we decided to book our tickets on line.  What a stroke of luck that was for we discovered that Peppa Pig World is now closed on Tuesday and Wednesdays (Amélie’s birthday was on Wednesday).  No fear we thought we’ll go to Legoland and use our Merlin passes again.  While we were on line we thought that it was probably a good idea to check out the opening ties in case they have changed now the kids are back at school.  Foiled again.  Legoland is also closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays!  Where were we going to go?  We asked Éowyn where she would like to go.  ‘The Jungle to see some animals‘.  Was the reply.  So a zoo it was.  Lucinda suggested Whipsnade and the decision was made.

We were quite impressed with Whipsnade.  It is huge (the UK’s biggest zoo) over 600 acres and the animals have plenty of room to run about.  It was so big and the day was so nice that we didn’t managed to see all of it.  We did manage to see a quite impressive bird display, the sea lion display and the penguin feeding.  Éowyn wanted to see the lions (which were asleep about six feet from the viewing window which was fantastic) and tigers and bears (oh, my!) which we managed to do with the obligatory hike in between before she suddenly started to cry.  I asked her why she was crying, ‘I want to stroke something,‘  she said.  Lions and tigers and bears (Oh, my!) are not the kind of animals you can really stroke (however much I would like to) so we trotted off to the petting zoo where she happily chased after sheep, goats and llamas!  Amélie was rather nonplussed by it all, even though it was her birthday treat!  We returned from Whipsnade ahead of the rush hour to one of Nanny’s roast dinners which was the perfect ending to her birthday.

And so our littlest one has completed her first year and we prepare for Éowyn’s third birthday.  Yes, third birthday! Which seems a scary concept for again it doesn’t seem five minutes since we welcomed her into our world and this website began!

Also in the news: Lucinda has returned to work, so Amélie has begun to go to Jo’s (our childminder) and the real juggling of work, child minder, pre-school and the rest of life begins.  I have taken some days off work to help with this transition but we have no illusions that this is not going to be easy but hey, who said that life is easy?  Fortunately our uxorilocal residence means that we can take advantage of Nanny and Granddad and with Lucinda’s brother just round the corner, we have a very handy matrilocal support team.

Before I leave I’d just like to say congratulations to Ollie and his wife Callula on the birth of their daughter Lexi Annabel, welcome to the world Lexi.

Love and Peace

Baggie