In the Night Garden

It is August.  Where has 2011 gone, not that 2011 is over but Selfridges and Harrods in London do have their Christmas displays on show, so whether you like it or not the countdown has begun.  The football seasons (yes, seasons, it is not just the English Premier League for us these days!) are beginning and therefore work is ramping up for me the slight breather that is the summer break is over and Lucinda returns to work in a little less than two months.  It never stops but at least life isn’t dull!

Éowyn is off school (along with millions of other children) which means that the onus is back on Lucinda to look after both of our daughters and trips to Legoland or other such Merlin Pass venues are not quite as attractive as they were.  Éowyn however is still going to Jo’s (our childminder) 3 times a month so there is a little break for her there.  I have altered my days off so that my week is effectively Wednesday to Sunday with my weekend on Mondays and Tuesdays, which if nothing else is regular!  However the days have lengthened as the workload increases towards the inevitable deadlines that usher in the advent of the seasons!  This has meant that most days I have not been able to make it back much before the kids bedtimes and on a couple of occasions after they have gone to sleep.  This is upsetting for Éowyn (and hence Lucinda and me) especially when the only way that Lucinda could stop her crying was to phone me up and ask me to speak to her.  It is extremely hard to speak to your 2 ½ year old daughter who is sobbing because you are not there to read her bed time stories.  It is rare that it happens now but this is the time of the year when it is most likely.

Éowyn however has been in the bad books of late.  I think it is a combination of Amélie receiving more attention, more pressure on Lucinda because I have been at work for longer hours and the fact that the turmoil the house was in from the kitchen refit has been replaced by more turmoil since we decided to carry the decorating on throughout the lower floor of the house.  That sounds rather grandiose, but it is merely the lounge and dining room and it is merely giving it all a lick of paint and replacing the old decrepit carpet with some hardwearing wooden flooring.  However the work invovlved to move all our furniture away from the walls to paint was severely underestimated, especially since the house isn’t big enough to simply move it all into another room.  This is going to be a problem when they come to fit the flooring, hence we are erecting a tent and a gazebo as temporary rooms in the only area that can accommodate the furniture – the garden.

So, there is some understanding, if not justification, for Éowyn’s behaviour but just because there is a reason it does not make it excusable.  So there is a lot of explaining to Éowyn how disappointed we are with her and taking toys off her rather than shouting or sitting on the thinking step.  She also appears to be better behaved when she has had an afternoon nap.  It is unfortunate though that she does not relish them and will do what she can to fight the sleep.  However she has surprised us a couple of times by saying that she is tired and can she go to bed for a nap.

Of course, all of this is Éowyn attempting to have some control over an aspect of her life and although as an adult you know this, it is still hard especially when Amélie is teething and will only stop crying when you are rocking her (her form of adult control!).  It does make the days long, especially for Lucinda who is dealing with them on her own.  Éowyn latest form of control is not to eat her meals.  Again you want your child to eat and you feel that you are a bad parent if they don’t.  So you appease them.  Obviously this is wrong because once you have appeased them once they know they have you.  So as a parent it is again time to regain power so now if Éowyn does not eat her meals then we do not make a fuss we simply offer her one more chance, then take it away.  We tell her that because she has not eaten her meal then she will not get anything to eat until the next meal and if that is the last meal of the day, then it will be breakfast before she eats again.  It is really hard to do this because it feels like you are starving your child (one missed meal, even two, isn’t going to cause that much harm) and all your parental instincts go against it but it doesn’t take long for it to bear fruit.  A couple of missed meals and she will eat anything you set in front of her.  We are still getting a couple of times a week when she refuses to eat her meals but no where as often as before and it doesn’t last very long.

Despite Éowyn’s behaviour she is still being taken nice places.  Lucinda had booked tickets for the ‘In the night garden‘ live show her in Richmond Old Deer park way back at the start of the year.  At the time, Éowyn was very much into ‘In the night garden‘ however it seems that it is a phase that she is currently growing out of and the show no longer maintains the same level of appeal as it once did.  Nevertheless the tickets were booked so Lucinda jumped on the train from Staines to Richmond with her friends Christina and her daughter Arabella and the four of them went on an adventure.  As feared she was not that interested in the show but it was good day out and as I stayed behind to look after Amélie it was some quality time for Lucinda and Éowyn alone.

As mentioned Amélie is teething again.  Currently there remains only to front two lower teeth but she seems to be in a lot of pain with them of late so hopefully the others will soon erupt.  She still is not taking her dummy, which is fantastic news, they can be consigned to the rubbish heap.  She has also started to crawl forwards a little.  Not as good as she can crawl forwards but we definitely have forward motion.  The biggest news for us, as parents, though is the fact that she has stopped walking at 0500 and the last couple of mornings not risen until 0630!  Bliss!  There is a big difference is those 90 minutes.  0530 is the middle of the night, 0630 is early morning.  Hopefully this is not a temporary thing and moreover a sign of the new status quo (the Latin phrase not the band, the new Status Quo is very much like the old Status Quo, status quo if you like. – I’ll stop there!).

Éowyn has also discovered the word ‘why’?  Trying to explain gravity to a 2 year old isn’t easy, especially since I lost Lucinda at Newton and I don’t think that Éowyn was listening much after Einstein’s general theory of relativity!

With Einstein and Status Quo both mentioned in the same write up I think I will take this opportunity to stop.  Hopefully I can squeeze another update in soon but with time very precious in August, I may not promise that the next write up will be as detailed as they have been of late.

Peace and Love

Baggie

 

My First Festival

It’s July; it’s Britain; it’s summer therefore there is heavy rain with gales and a hose pipe ban (probably).  It is also festival season.  My first festival wasn’t until July 1996 (T in the Park), Éowyn’s first festival was last Saturday (Legoland Live! on 16th July 2011! – nearly 15 years to the day!).  Whereas my first festival included Radiohead, Alanis Morrisette, Prodigy, Foo Fighters, Beck, Black Grape and Pulp (not to mention Keanu Reeve’s band Dogstar), Éowyn’s first festival included Fifi and the Flowertots, Roary the Racing Car and the Zingzillas!

Yes, Legoland hosted Legoland Live! which was billed as My First Festival.  One stage (and a number of other events around the periphery) in a field in the Legoland car park.  The bands were a variety of Milkshake (Channel 5) and CBeebies (BBC) characters including a number of Éowyn’s favourites (although not Peppa Pig!).  As it was part of Legoland, surprisingly our Merlin Passes gained us free access without any supplement required (we were expecting one, so it was a pleasant twist and would encourage us to go to the next one).  Unfortunately the weather was not pleasant (reminiscent of my first Glastonbury – and my second Glastonbury).  The heavens had well and truly opened and within 5 minutes of entering the park were soaked to the skin (literally!).

Lucinda decided to try and brave the weather and took Éowyn on the Dino Ride, while I sheltered with Amélie under one of the eateries.  The weather was so bad though that they stopped the ride part way round and had the walk some of the route to the exit, not before Lucinda and Éowyn had one of the official photographs of them on the ride.  Lucinda and Éowyn joined myself and Amélie in our shelter and we stayed there for the best part of an hour, while our pac-a-macs dried out (we didn’t purchase one of the the fetching yellow plastic Legoland ponchos that seemed to be in vogue on Saturday).  So, slightly less damp we headed to the festival site.  That dry feeling did not last very long as the rain had not stopped so with British stoicism we walked, with heads held high to the festival field. 

We arrived just as Fifi and the Flowertots were on, and the delight and incredulity on Éowyn’s face was palpable.  I don’t think that she could believe, or perhaps even comprehend, that they were real (as they obviously are!) and sat on my shoulders grinning from ear to ear at the stage.  Fifi was followed by Roary the Racing Car and the Zingzillas (for who the sun came out briefly)!  Those were the big three that we thought that Éowyn would want to see.

There was a hiatus after the Zingzillas (and there needed to be – far too much excitement!) so we decided to look and some of the tents on the periphery of the field.  As fortune would have it we arrived at the first tent just as a Flowertot show was about to start.  Not the matriarch of the show, Fifi, but her friend Violet.  A dancefloor stood in the middle of the tent and the children were encouraged to sit there with the parents on chairs at the edge of the dancefloor looking on.  I think that Éowyn was a little over-awed by it all and stood at the edge of the dancefloor near Lucinda (I was at the back with Amélie) sucking her thumb.  She didn’t join in with the dance actions of the first few songs, but fortunately the performer in the Violet suit (O.K. Violet herself) saw Éowyn and made a concerted effort to encourage her to join in, including dancing with her and giving her a cuddle at the end of the next song.

The next tent was bedecked with beanbags and cushions and two children entertainers took turns reading stories.  Éowyn loves stories, reading them (as best as she can), listening to them or just making them up!  Either she was really tired or the environment wasn’t condusive to listening or the entertainers did not enthrall her and her attention waived.  We took this as the excitement of the day was just too much and with a long wait until Justin Fletcher we decided to go home.  Within five minutes of leaving Legoland she was fast asleep in the arms of her car seat.

I have to say it was a good day, obviously it would have been considerably better if it had been dry (although with it raining on St. Swithun’s day – the day before – we probably have another 40 days worth of rain to come!) and if we had managed to meet up with at least one of the group of friends that were also in attendance.  Unfortunately as we were all dashing from shelter to shelter it just wasn’t meant to be.  Should Legoland host the festival again next year then I am sure that, if possible, we will be there.

Éowyn is certainly going through the terrible twos at the moment.  She is pushing the boundaries continually and much of it is fuelled, we think, by jealousy.  Although she is very fond of her sister, and no one can make Amélie giggle quite as hard as Éowyn, she does get angry and frustrated if Amélie is shown any form of affection.  The thinking step has been in use most days and at the moment it seems to work.  She will sit on the designated step and will, usually, seem genuinely sorry and modify her behaviour accordingly afterwards.

As with all generalised statements there are exceptions and occasionally there are times when the thinking step isn’t the appropriate course of action.  While putting her to bed the other night, Éowyn was giving Lucinda a hard time.  Lucinda bent down to Éowyn’s eye level, looked her in the eye and asked her with a low measured voice to come to her to get dressed.  Éowyn simply shouted ‘No!’ (her usual response when she is frustrated and angry) then slapped Lucinda and spat in her face.  Obviously two minutes on the thinking step wasn’t the answer.  So she was swiftly dressed (by me) and put to bed with no stories and I took all her toys out of her bed.  Éowyn loves her stories (and to be honest I love that father and daughter time, reading them to her)  so that was a big loss to her, as was the lack of toys in her bed.  I explained to her why she was not going to have any stories and why I was taking the toys out of her bed after I had made her say sorry to Lucinda.  I went downstairs but before Lucinda followed me she heard a little voice from Éowyn’s room.  Lucinda went in and Éowyn simply held out a small cuddly toy, ‘Daddy, forgot one,‘ she said.  Your heart breaks.

The next morning she again apologised and fully understood why she had not had any stories, so although it feels harsh when you are dishing out such punishment in the grand scheme of things, it not only works but is necessary.  Let’s hope that this stage does not last very long.

Amélie has also taken a very big step forward.  No, not walking (or even crawling forward yet) but something we are probably more delighted with.  She has decided that she doesn’t want a dummy anymore.  It was something that never happened with Éowyn for she refused a dummy from the very beginning when she was in the incubator in ICU (although she still sucks her thumb) and we were concerned on how we would face the day when we took the dummy away.  We had visions of her being quite old and still depending on a dummy for comfort (at the Legoland Live! Festival there were some children who were at least 4 that still had dummies) but no need to worry.  On Tuesday she started pushing the dummy away.  On Wednesday she didn’t use it once, and she hasn’t used it since.  This is a great relief and a great step in her development, not to mention making our lives a lot easier.  If only she wouldn’t wake for a feed at 05:30 every morning!

Work is starting to ramp up for me as the football seasons (yes seasons!) begin, hopefully I can keep the current update rate going, I will try my best.

And before I leave you a final word goes to Lucinda, happy 4th Wedding Anniversary darling, glad to see that the weather hasn’t improved. 

Peace and Love

Baggie

 

Not the Pox you are looking for…

With renewed determination another update appears.  The key, I have come to the conclusion, is not to wait for something interesting to happen and then write about it; rather write about what happened and try to make it interesting.  That may seem like just semantics to you but it is actually a complete change in direction.  Let us see how it works in practise. 

Following the great kitchen upgrade, we have decided that the dining room and lounge are in need of some TLC.  With a quote for flooring under our belt, we have decided that before the new flooring goes down the walls (and ceiling) need a lick of paint.  One job leads to another though and in order to paint the walls, the furniture needs to be moved; in order for the furniture to be moved, they need to be emptied of stuff.  The big question is where do you put the stuff.  That is where we are at.  Plastic boxes of stuff with furniture in the middle of the room, with newly painted walls.  All this while entertaining two small children and still doing all the things that one has to do (go to work, cook meals, go shopping, etc). 

Fortunately, we thought, Éowyn is at school and so with some fortune, Amélie will be asleep and we can crack on with it.  However, those plans were scuppered before they could be put into action.  Friday morning Lucinda took Éowyn to Playbox, as usual, however it wasn’t long before she received a phonecall.  They had noticed that Éowyn had a rash across her chest and abdomen and were concerned that it was Chicken Pox.  Lucinda was asked to collect her and keep her at home for the next couple of weeks.  Obviously concerned it was Chicken Pox we stocked up on Calamine lotion and waited for the spots to scab over and the itching to start, not to mention worrying about whether Amélie was about to come down with it too.

We kept an eye on the spots but when they did not develop as we expected our concern changed and with our doctor’s surgery closed for the weekend we phoned NHS direct.  After going through Éowyn’s symptoms it seems that she has still avoided Chicken Pox and was diagnosed with a non-specific viral rash.  Very common (and something Éowyn has had before – but not on the scale she had at the weekend) among toddlers (in fact a child of a friend of ours, also had one over the same weekend!) it was just that Playbox were duly concerned and the rash seemed to emulate the initial symptoms of Chicken Pox (i.e. similar looking spots, in the same areas that Chicken Pox begins).  The spots began to fade by Wednesday (as we were told they would) and so Éowyn is still waiting for her first childhood illness and we have an unopened bottle of Calamine lotion.

With Éowyn (and Amélie) in the clear Lucinda and I could take advantage of an offer I received with my car insurance.  In order to retain my custom, my car insurance firm offered me a night in a hotel to be taken by the end of July.  Unfortunately most of the hotels in the scheme did not include weekends, however we found a hotel in Didsbury in Manchester.  I spent three years in Manchester (at university) and so thought that this was a fortuitous coincidence to show Lucinda my old stomping ground.

Nanny Fran and Auntie Liz kindly agreed to look after Éowyn and Amélie so we could have a child free night!  Therefore we headed up to West Bromwich after I finished work so that we could spend one night with Nanny Fran and Auntie Liz before abandoning the kids!  Éowyn was extremely excited about seeing Nanny Fran and tried to stay awake for the car journey.  However, we told her that we would wake her when we arrived at Nanny Fran’s so she would drop off.  That placated her and she duly fell asleep.  There was no need to wake her when we arrived at West Bromwich for as soon as we came up the ramp at junction 1 of the M5 a little voice in the back piped up, ‘Are we at Nanny Fran’s?

We had one errand to do before leaving for Didsbury, which was to open a bank (well building society) account for Amélie.  This took longer than we expected but found ourselves on the road for about 1130.  Coincidentally one of Lucinda’s university friends, Ruth, was getting married.  She lives on the outskirts of Chester so we had toyed with the idea of dropping off her card and pressie and spending the afternoon in Chester before heading across country.  However, fate intervened and plans had to change.  A lorry jack-knifed on the M6, shedding its load and closing the motorway.  Our route north was blocked and the surrounding A roads were congested.  After sitting in traffic for 90 minutes we happened across a pub and decided to refuel (ourselves) and take a break.  An hour later we rejoined the congestion and finally arrived in Didsbury over 5 hours later, a journey that should have taken just over one hour.  Not a great start.

We checked into the hotel and headed to the room.  Imagine our disappointment when we opened the door to find the pokiest little room this side of Europe!  After the journey from hell it was the last thing that we wanted.  So we headed for reception and inquired about an upgrade.  Twenty pounds was the fee to change and aren’t we glad we did.  The room we were upgraded to didn’t even look like it belonged in the same hotel as the first: a spacious room with a four poster bed and a generous bathroom.  A score well spent!

We decided that we would spend our night of freedom having a meal and a night at the cinema, simple pleasures that are usually denied to us due to requiring a babysitter.  We wandered into Didsbury and found a promising looking Thai restaurant (The Laughing Buddha – would highly recommend if you are in the area, we thought that the service was excellent and the food divine) and not too far from the cinema where we booked tickets to see Transformers 3 (in 3D) – not the most intellectual of films but good fun nonetheless.

Saturday morning we took the number 43 bus into Manchester City centre.  The route took us down Wilmslow road into Oxford Road, through Withington, Fallowfield, Rusholme (the curry mile) and the University itself, my aforementioned stomping ground.  Obviously this is out of student term time so the hustle and bustle of those areas was missing but it brought back memories even though there are a number of new buildings that have sprung up in the intervening decade(s)!  Lucinda was impressed with Manchester City Centre and even begun talking about going back for another visit.  It has changed since my days but there was enough that remained (of the layout and my memory) for us to explore without getting too lost!  We ended up in the closing down sale of Habitat (one of those retailers that have gone to the wall in 2011!) and there were four oak dining chairs.  With the dining room upgrade very much on our brains and such good quality chairs going for a bargain we ended up parting with our hard earned cash. 

So a quick bus journey back to Didsbury to pick the car up and then we drove into Manchester City Centre to pick them up.  Thankfully we didn’t have the kids in the car, else they would not have fitted.  So, I can see the question that is forming, how did we gt them back home?  The answer is not yet.  After an uneventful journey back to West Bromwich (it really only takes just over an hour) via the Trafford Centre (just for a look!) we parted company with the chairs (thanks again Nanny Fran!) and swapped them for the children! 

While we were in Manchester Éowyn and Amélie had a whale of a time with Nanny Fran and Auntie Liz.  They went to visit their Great-Grandma, this really cheered my Nan up and thoroughly enjoyed holding Amélie however Éowyn was not so compliant and acted all shy around her ancestor, refusing to go and sit with her.  She can be shy and she so rarely sees her Great-Grandma so perhaps it is understandable.  Something we will have to try and rectify.  Nanny Fran then took Éowyn for a haircut, well trim at her local hairdressers and a treat with a trip to Sandwell Valley Farm.

Although Nanny Fran and Auntie Liz enjoyed looking after the youngest members of the Bagnall family, they were undoubtedly glad to hand them back so that they could get some rest.

Although the trip wasn’t as relaxing as it should have been (over 5 hours in a car to complete a journey that was going to take just over one hour); we didn’t get to surprise Ruth and on the journey back to the Moor noticed I had a slow puncture, so have had to fork out on new tyres we want to thank Nanny Fran and Auntie Liz for giving us the night off and a lie in!  We had a really nice meal and got to go out together (without children) for the first time since Amélie was born.  So thank you.  (and thank you for storing our chairs until we get our dining room sorted!)

Enjoy the photos and hopefully update you soon

Peace and Love

Baggie